Work has been a struggle lately. It doesn't help that I feel like someone I used to talk to several times a day is not ignoring me for some unknown reason. Well, to be honest, I have a hunch but the circumstance wasn't anything heinous enough to warrant total isolation. I'll chop it up to that person being particularly childish and seeing as they didn't quite get their way, they are trying to make some sort of statement and choosing "a side." As if there were sides to choose from in the adult world. But, to whatever makes them feel better, to feel in control of the situation, doesn't effect how I get through my day. Like I said, it's been a chore since the frequent chats helped the day go by more quickly but I can move on with one less childish person in my life.
Life, in the grand scheme of things, has been awesome lately. I married the love of my life and my best friend. The overall wedding experience was mostly stressful and all for show. People had their expectations and we fulfilled them the best we could. My dad even had a really nice speech prepared so if I got anything out of the ceremony, it was his heartfelt words. Of course I was excited to pledge my life and glory or whatever to Joe but it was really hard for me to get past the thought "what's the point of all this?" I would have been happy if we were just sitting on the couch and he asked
"Wanna be my wife?"
And that would be it! We'd go on like usual but I would have a new name. It was nice to have all the friends and family come down and celebrate. We got to see a lot of old friends we haven't seen since we left Ottawa and I'm grateful they were able to come. But I guess I'm just not a showy person, in any aspect at all ever. I don't like the attention. Thankfully, we were busy enough running around getting pictures with people that I didn't feel like the absolute center of attention but at the same time I felt bad for not having everyone involved with something all at once. It seemed like most people were just kind of sitting around and waiting for the next bit.
I'm a little disappointed in how the whole thing turned out but at the same time, I wasn't totally enthused with the idea and had no idea what I was doing in the first place. Maybe things would have been easier if I were one of those brides that demanded perfection. At least then I would have had a clearer vision of what I would have wanted for the wedding instead of looking back and thinking what we could have done better.
But it happened how it happened and hopefully the pictures turned out nice. Now I get to go through what has been described to me as the most difficult process known to man - changing my name. Several people have asked me if I planned on changing my name. I didn't realized I came off as the kind of person who wouldn't have but in this day and age maybe it's just polite not to assume you're taking your husband's name. I think I'll miss my maiden name but it's not like it'll be wiped from my memory.
In other domestic news, we used the butt-load of cash we received as wedding gifts for a brand new queen sized mattress! It will be delivered tomorrow along with a fancy headboard and two night stands to match. As much as I liked the close quarters of our full sized bed, with one fat cat in the middle and Joe's feet hanging off the edge, the upgrade will be nice. We'll even have a box spring!
The only thing I'm more excited about than this bed is the bookshelf we'll (hopefully) be getting soon so I can get all my books out of moving boxes. For living at Greenwood Park for almost two months, we've got most everything in its place. Now all we need to focus on is putting up our posters and art we've collected over the past few years. I have all these awesome Eslinger prints that haven't graced the walls of any apartment yet!