I could have an opportunity to become manager of my department but what's stopping me from jumping on that bandwagon is my lack of interest in the industry. I keep asking myself if what I do now or what I would like to do would result in helping someone. Not necessarily someone in need, just like helping them accomplish a goal or solve a problem. I find those to be the most satisfactory moments in my workday. I've applied to a few other positions at other companies but looking at those job descriptions it doesn't really look like they'll give me that particular sense of accomplishment I'm seeking. Sure, Joe says I'll be good at data analysis but would I enjoy doing something like that?

So if I can't really define what I want out of a job or what I want to do I might as well take the opportunity that's in front of me right?

Fool Me Twice

People were very disappointing this weekend. I don't know why I got my hopes up.

Honestly, I typed that up a few weeks ago and I can't recall which situation or people I was referring to because sadly, it happens more often than it should. Are my expectations too high? I don't think so. I feel like I'm a realistic enough person to understand circumstance but I think there should be a level of etiquette or politeness when it comes to shit. People just aren't considerate. I don't know how I ended up surrounded by so many people who can't look past their own noses.

Or maybe it's just the kind of thing that comes with age. Maybe it's the time in our lives where we're all looking out for ourselves first so we choose the most ideal situation that suits our need in that moment. I thought I had already shed the fake, shitty people in my life but it seems that I'm still in that process. Even recently I've found myself giving the same people the benefit of the doubt only to yield the same results as the last time they were involved.

Maybe it's up to me not have any sort of expectations of anyone. I should just do everything myself so I won't be disappointed by a lack of interest or commitment from third parties. But at the other hand, maybe it's unfair to ask the people around me to satisfy the same expectations I have for myself. I've been feeling a little left out lately, a small case of FOMO if you will (fear of missing out). It's not terrible since it lets me get my work done but I do end up bored and wonder what people are talking about on the afternoon walks of what I used to be a part.